Worth 1,000 words? Reactions to an image of a woman leader

Worth 1,000 words? Reactions to an image of a woman leader

We continue to remain unconscious of the many insidious ways in which our collective upbringing, with mom at the grocery store and dad at the office, still profoundly impacts how much we invest our women leaders with the power to lead.

Recently, I was pondering the hullabaloo over this photo of Nancy Pelosi wielding the Speaker's gavel while surrounded by children.

A colleague had mentioned that she'd heard this mélange of reactions to the photo:

"It made me tear up. It really touched me. It didn't feel 'engineered' or cynical, it seemed spontaneous and I believe it was."

"I thought it was condescending. It made her look like the 'old woman in the shoe'."

"It was significant. It showed that the old boys' way of doing business is over. It said there's going to be a new way of doing things. It was refreshing."

I have to admit, somewhat sadly, to my own knee-jerk response to this newly minted icon of an American woman holding power. I found myself wondering: "Is being surrounded by kids the right image for the first woman to hold the Speaker's Chair to claim while accepting the third-highest office in the land?"

But I know these thoughts are not really "mine." They mostly reflect the stereotyped perceptions that I've internalized growing up in North American culture — thoughts which I then projected onto Ms. Pelosi and her choice of who would share her inaugural podium.

The double bind for women leaders

We, in this part of the world, are caught in a painfully confused double bind when it comes to how we hold our women leaders: "Step up, be a strong, directive leader, be a man — but don't be too much of a man!" We want the nurturing mother, too, and woe be it to the woman who delivers one when the other is expected, whichever it is! Can we accept a commander-in-chief in pearls who doesn't change into her sweats and play touch football on Sundays with her kids? The research is clear — not quite yet.*

We continue to remain unconscious of the many insidious ways in which our collective upbringing, with mom at the grocery store and dad at the office, still profoundly impacts how much we invest our women leaders with the power to lead.

How nonsensical is it that we in North America are still caught up in this bind when women have led governments and corporations successfully all over the world? Or even more poignant, when young women in Afghanistan are committing suicide in growing numbers (setting themselves on fire or swallowing sharp jewelry) rather than face a life of forced marriage and abuse, sold off by their fathers for the price of a dowry, to settle a debt or repent for a crime? Surely in this the (arguably) most democratic and educated country in the world, we can do better.

I believe Ms. Pelosi's ascent, and the upcoming national debate around a possible woman presidential candidate (h-m-m-m, who could that be?), calls on us all to examine our own responses to women's power and to do our best to disengage from these acculturated, internalized prejudices which often run counter to our stated values of fairness, equality, and humanity.

A way through: Levels of reflection

One way is to do some self-reflection by tracking your thoughts and feelings all the way back to their roots, back through your operating beliefs to your governing values (what we call at IA, the Levels of Reflection) and see where the inconsistencies lie. For me, wondering if Nancy Pelosi should be leveraging the "grandmother card" reveals an operating belief that grandmothers generally are elderly and motherly, not the impression I want for the Speaker of the House. And that reveals an inherent ageism and sexism that I would not have known I had, and which runs counter to the values I hold. I can use these Levels of Reflection to reveal contradictions between my thoughts and actions and my most cherished governing values, and in so doing uproot dangerous double binds that constrict my own and others' behaviors.

So I say: C'mon! Let's step up and give women the freedom to lead based on their merit and accomplishments rather than on what suit they are wearing or whether their hairstyle matches our impressions of what Cindy Crawford would look like if she were president.

* "Women take care, men take charge: Stereotyping of US business leaders exposed" (New York: Catalyst, 2005)

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